- I want a kitten. My body corporate doesn’t allow cats or dogs in the apartment complex, which is complete bullshit. They allow renters and apartment owners to have babies.
- I don’t own a mop OR a shower curtain. Do you know how difficult it is to shower without these items? Every day, I stand right up against the bathroom wall, my hands making gentle, circular movements in a desperate attempt not to spill water.
- A few nights ago, I made Pasta Arrabiata … Do you have any idea how difficult is to make pasta without a colander? Also I think I should have started my journey into the culinary world with Pasta Arrabiata. I should have started with something a little more basic. Like making toast. Or boiling water.
- Yesterday I found a huge spider on my bed. It was the size of my fingernail. I didn’t have any insecticide, so I did the most logical thing. I set my bed on fire. Ha! Nah, I threw my stiletto at it. Unfortunately my aim is as bad as my cooking, so the eight-legged monster is still scuttling around my apartment. (Please note that a week ago I was holding a shy shark in my hands.)
- Merry Christmas! I need to get my ass into the kitchen and make some Apple Crisp. I might not be able to cook for shit, but I sure as hell can bake. Also, I am exceptionally humble.
This blog post powered by an endless supply of coffee and Ryan Adams tunes.