Unwanted pregancy

If you’ve spent enough time on this blog, you’ve probably already come to the grand conclusion that I prefer reading books with erm … bizarre subject content. In the last 4 months alone, I’ve have written up detailed reviews on books that explore the important issues in life. Like giant vaginas, erotica with innumerable typos AND the insertion of eels into one’s rectum. And by detailed reviews, I obviously mean that I simply typed up an excerpt from the books. Obviously.

Today I bring you an extract from Chuck Palahniuk’s novel, Diary.    

Misty’s first batch of birth control pills, Peter monkeyed with. He replaced them with little cinnamon candies. The next batch he just flushed down the toilet.

You flushed down the toilet. By accident, you said.

After that, student health services wouldn’t refill her prescription for another 30 days. They got her fitted for a diaphragm, and a week later Misty found a little hole poked through the centre of it. She held it up to the window to show Peter, and he said, Those things don’t last forever.”

Misty said she just got it.

“They wear out,” he said.

Misty said his penis wasn’t so big it hit her cervix and punched a hole in her diaphragm.

Your penis isn’t that big.

After that, Misty kept running out of spermicidal foam.

Of course, her next period never came. After the first couple of days, Peter brought her a box of pregnancy test sticks. These were the kind you pee on. They’d show a yes or no if you’re knocked up. The sticks weren’t sealed in any paper wrappers. They all smelled like pee. They already showed a “no” for not pregnant.

3 comments

  1. I haven’t read that one yet. In fact, I haven’t read Palahnuik in a while. I started getting increasingly annoyed with his writing style.

    But this is funny.

  2. Rassles: I’ve read a number of his books and I’ve come to the realisation that his newest novels are … too out there. Like his trying too hard.

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