Verbal Diarrhoea

This is an old video (2007). Miss Teen South Carolina was asked why a fifth of Americans can’t locate the US on a world map.

Her reply (for those you can’t watch youtube at work): I personally believe the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh…people out there in our nation don’t have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and…I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., err, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our…

Am I the only South African out there who is offended by her answer?

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On Saturday, 25th of September 2010, Fahiema, Cougar and I will be going shark cage diving. Woohoo! There will be pictures, there will be stories and there will be lots of freaking out.

Thanks to Cougar for making this happen.

Isn’t this just the cutest puppy ever? Seriously? You have no idea how happy this picture made me.

You can find more adorable pics of puppies at The Daily Puppy.

I’m busy updating our spatial biodiversity DVD. This requires some knowledge of Javascript and programming. (Turns out this shit is easy to figure out). Anyway, while furiously tapping away at my keyboard, I somehow managed to get distracted by Stella McCartney’s designs for Adidas.  Can you imagine golfing in this?

Or running a marathon in this?

Oh baby baby baby babe,
How long am I supposed to wait?
I think about you nightly
Oh, can you tell I’m losin’ sleep?
Can you tell – Ra Ra Riot

I found the following flow diagram attached to an article on why women shouldn’t settle, and I absolutely had to share it with you guys.

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And in other news that made me giggle … A pet tiger escapes in South African suburb. Who the hell keeps a tiger as a pet???

As if there isn’t enough embarassing information of me out there on the interwebs, I bring you photos.

Ignore the fact that I’m wearing takkies to a party and that my fat stomach is showing. The bigger question is what am I doing and why? And if you thought THIS is bad, you should see me at En-dee!’s wedding.

This chick in front, with the grey T-shirt, is one of the coolest chick ever. How can I not love a girl who tries to embody the spirit of Britney Spears on the dancefloor?

Watching soccer.

EDIT: Just got the following gchat message from Dizzy.

Dizzy*: Your blog post today … I laughed so hard and it reminded me of the following pic …

This just in from my sister.

Tickets! Don’t lose out!

Category 1 tickets available for the first night of Taraweeh.

Price: Face value … Front row directly behind the Imaam!!! Unbelievable Atmosphere … Feel it … It is Near!

No vuvzelas; bring your tasbeehs.

(You’ll only get the joke if you were raised Muslim.)

I only want sympathy
in the form of you
crawling into bed with me
Dance, dance – Fall out Boy (Lindberg Palace Remix)

A few days ago I was telling Juan how much I enjoy listening to the song above. Everytime I hear it I can’t help but start dancing and it’s not sexy dancing. “When I hear this song I don’t dance like I’m trying to entice a guy. This is happy dancing – dancing that will earn me more than a few weird stares and giggles.”

Juan: So what? Do you normally dance to entice a guy?

Me: Nooooo … But the men sure are enticed!

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At the moment I’m totally enjoying Gold Motel’s Stealing the Moonlight. The song makes me yearn for summer and short little dresses. (It’s raining right now. I can’t say I’m surprised. It is winter IN Cape Town. In Cape Town, in Winter, rain is all you can expect for days on. It’s so depressing.)  

 Zooey Deschanel & M. Ward from the band She & Him. Some of you might recognise her from the movie 500 Days of Summer (awesome movie).

Anyway, I’ve been spending an inordinate amount of time “reading” through the archives of THIS blog (Dance to the Radio). It’s a music blog, with Liz providing readers with free downloads to Monday Mixtapes. Since Liz is a huge fan of the following bands: No Doubt, Florence and the Machine, Phoenix, Jimmy Eat World and Feist, I’m sure to enjoy any artists/bands that she introduces me to.  

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So yeah, something weird/embarrassing/comical happened yesterday but before I give you the nitty gritty details on my latest moment of dipshittery, let me give you the back story.

A few weeks ago I went on a date. Yes, *shock, shudder, gasp* an actual man wanted spend time with me and I DIDN’T share all the intimate details with you. I know, you’re absolutely hurt by my lack of trust in you but honestly I’m never going to be THAT girl. I’m never going to the girl repeats every cute little conversation had; I’m never going to be the girl who describes how his smile sets my heart a flutter; or how 15 minutes after meeting him you were already creating a mental inventory of all the people you’ll invite to your wedding. In my head I’d like to be that girl but I’m afraid that by splattering my potential relationship status and happiness all over the web I will inevitably jinx it. Plus there’s that whole “Oh Shit” factor when things don’t work out. I just can’t (won’t allow myself to?) publish intimate details of all my hopes and dreams only to look back 6 months later and state to a bunch of strangers that I was a complete idiot for trusting him.   

Anyway, the guy was perfect on paper … Good looking, employed, Muslim, blah blah blah.

And as we all know, perfect on paper is one thing. Making me laugh so hard I have trouble breathing, is a completely different thing. So when he didn’t call me immediately I wasn’t too crushed and deleted his number.

Let’s flash forward to last night. Imagine a girl wearing absolutely no make-up and dressed in track pants,* searching the aisles of Pick ‘n Pay (a local grocery store) for essentials (read: chocolate). Now imagine if you will, this girl spotting the guy. Now what would the normal response to this situation be? Oh wait, that’s right, this girl isn’t normal. So when the girl spots the guy instead of saying hello, she ducks left so fast you’d think she’d spent her formative years learning kung fu from Buddhist monks. Not only does this girl avoid speaking to the guy, but she also leaves behind all her groceries and hightails it right out of there.

Who does THAT??? Hell, I can’t even believe I did that! I keep replaying the incident in my head and thinking, “What the fuck?”

*Note: I was only wearing track pants because I was planning to run 6km immediately after doing some shopping.