(I wrote this piece 4 years ago, before the inception of this blog … Fuck it! Do you have any idea how amazed I am that I’ve with this writing thing for 4 years? Seriously, I’ve never put this much effort any anything EVER. Hell, I put in less thought and consideration into choosing my university courses.)
Okay so yesterday I started sharing one of our three-way conversations with you guys. In our conversation we were discussing the obvious lack of hot guys in our lives. En-dee!, ever the logic one pointed out that although our standards seemed high right now this could simply be a result of our lack of options. If we were to increase our options we might discover that our standards were way below par. She then went on to say, “Increase the sample number for better, more accurate results.”
To which Fahiema replied with a, “True. The thing is where do we sample? Where do we start setting up our experimental design and doing trial runs? We need some sort of game plan here.”
Me: “Hey, remember my survey plan? My plan is that we set up a fake survey and then ask hot guys we see passing by to fill them in. And while they’re answering the surveys we could hit on them.”
En-dee!: “We also need to cover a lot of ground, to get a good representative answer of the hot guy situation in Cape Town. Perhaps if we find that they may be concentrated in a certain area, we could reduce time consumption and go straight to the source, thus discovering where the prime location for foraging is. There are hot guys out there people, we need to tag em, and bag em. Sorry had to add that bit. I was having visions of us out in the field dressed in army uniforms, standing around a table with a huge plan on it, with helicopters making a noise in the background, bygones.”
Fahiema: “We might not be in the field with the helicopters and army equipment, but the situation is just as serious. It’s kind of like a state of our future security, which is important. We definitely have to cover the ground. I suspect they must be concentrated in a certain area, and it’s this area that we’re just not getting into. They certainly weren’t at university with us. Most hot guys are dumb are therefore unable to make the entrance requirements for UCT. We need to infiltrate the masses and execute a plan of action!”
Me: “Okay, that’s a very important issue that Fahiema has raised. We should ask ourselves whether the intelligence of the guy will affect our test results. Does intelligence make a guy more or less attractive to us?”
En-dee!: “More attractive. Not nerdy intelligent but someone who is capable of having a decent conversation.”
Me: “Okay, the first thing we need to do is draw up a survey. I think we should all write down a couple of questions we could like to have answered. Things like highest level of education (since intelligence is important to En-dee!) should be included in the survey. We’re also going to need a line for what the survey is going to be used for. I figure we can tell the guys we’re doing a survey on the attitudes of young men in South Africa for Men’s Health. When all that is sorted out we will need is a time and place to carry out our sampling. That leads me to my next question: when is the best time to carry out our field work. When do the hot guys come out to the watering hole, before or after sunset? Personally I think we should start our sampling at the beach. That way we get to see their bodies and their faces. And we’ll know whether or not we’re wasting out time. I also think we should start our field work early when the light is still good. That way we can accurately discern how hot the guys are. Anything after sunset has to be done where there is additional lighting, like a mall or something.”
TO BE CONTINUED
