Written ages ago – Villa Via 2

My current hotel, Protea Hotel Samrand is perfect. My colleague described the room as “Huge. There are two beds in each room – One for me and one for my boyfriend. And no one has to sleep on the wet spot.”

The hotel was a far cry from Villa Via, Midrand.

“You should have seen the hotel that work put me up in. My towel had a hole in it. There were stains on the sheets. I think it was blood. I couldn’t be sure. The water damage … extensive. The bedroom window wouldn’t open. And I’m not that fussy. I mean, I wore YOUR socks even after you’d already worn them for an hour.

And on the morning that we checked out, I filled out the hotel’s evaluation form. Except I didn’t list ALL of my complaints, there simply wasn’t enough space on the form.

After I’d packed all my belongings, I carry my bags down to the car. And the receptionist sees me. And he offers to help. At first I decline, but he’s pretty insistent. Says that he’s here and he has nothing better to do. So I relent. I’m nice like that.

We then head to the checkout desk. But before I hand over my hotel key, I hand in the evaluation form. This is a pretty dumb move on my part. And he then proceeds to READ the form, right then and there. Can you say awkward? And when he is done, he smiles, it looks slightly forced, and he says, “We need this type of feedback.”

And then, and this is the best part, he proceeds to hand me his number. Says that I’m really nice and that I should call or Facebook him whenever I’m lonely.”

It must be noted that Villa Via’s response to my written complaints was very professional. They apologised profusely, promised to fix up the room and returned 25% of the hotel fee.

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My flights have been booked. I’ll be heading to the Golden Gate Highlands National Park soon. I’m so excited.

Day 2 – Kimberley

It’s 04:30 and I’m awake. We’re (the colleague and I) are to drive to Johannesburg to attend a training course. It’s a 6 hour drive.

Before setting off, I head towards the bathroom, where I am delighted to discover a cockroach lounging between two drinking glasses. (Click on link to view the evidence  image). I stay in crappy hotels (Savoy Hotel, Kimberley) so that you don’t have to.

Two hours into our drive, the colleague slams on the brakes. We slow down from 140km (yes, we were breaking the speed limit) to 60km. A troop of vervet monkeys are crossing the road. Only in Africa.

An hour later, I am sitting behind the wheel when something similar happens. This time, Egyptian geese. Unlike the colleague I do NOT slam on the brakes. I artfully swerve pass the the miscreants and avoid a collision. The colleague is pale. She silently sends up a prayer to the gods.

Later she would very politely tell me that I should have stopped. IMMEDIATELY. That a collision with an animal of that size, at THAT speed, could have led to disastrous consequences – a cracked windscreen at best.

The rest of the journey is without mishap.

 

 

 

The travel diaries – Kimberley

  • My sister graduated from Med School in December. Since then my gran no longer refers to my sister by her name. It is “the doctor”. “The doctor is sleeping. The doctor is home.”
  • Every time I go to hot yoga class, I have to remind myself NOT to hate on the skinny chicks. Fucking bitches.

And the latest in the travel diaries

On Sunday afternoon at 16:30, a colleague and I boarded a plane to Kimberley, a town in the Northern Cape famous for a big hole in the landscape. You can only imagine my unconstrained excitement at the prospect.

Upon arrival, we headed straight towards our hotel (Savoy Hotel). No sightseeing for us.

Not wanting to forage for sustenance at such a late hour, we decided to head down to the hotel restaurant for supper.

Waitress: All our meat is halaal.

Me: But you have bacon on your menu?

Cape Town Carnival, Unconditional Love, Iziko

You would be forgiven for assuming that my recent two week absence from the blog was due to me having a fulfilling career, having an intense romance with a millionaire or falling into a deep coma. None of these things have happened.

Instead over the last few days I have:

1)      Bitched about a certain “3 star” hotel in Midrand (Villa Via). My complaints range from extensive water damage to stains on the bedspread. (I think it’s blood. I could be wrong.) I will “white people angry on Monday” and will be writing a formal letter of complaint, including pictures.

2)      Been blown away by the floats at this year’s Cape Town Carnival.

carnival

3)      Fretted about my weight. I met up with my dearest father and one of the first things he said to me was, “You’re picking up weight. You have a muffin-top.” And just in case I didn’t get the message the first time around, the next day he would prod my mom to reinforce the message.

My dearest mother, “You know your dad doesn’t like fat people, right.”

Unconditional love, I wonder what that must feel like.

4)      Attended the “Wildlife photographer of the year, 2012” exhibition at the Iziko Museum. Absolutely stunning!

5)      Watched the movie, “Argo”. Enjoyable.

Skyfall, Monkey Valley, Sharks

Hey hey

It’s been a while since we talked. About me. So in the spirit of generosity and sharing, I’ve compiled a short list of all things ME.

  • I’ve volunteered to spend my birthday tagging sharks. Not the Patrick Lambie variety, mind you, but Bronze Whaler sharks (Carcharhinus brachyurus).
  • I recently moved into my new apartment. Removing the last of my belongings from my parents’ home, I asked, “Do you have an extra tube of toothpaste?”

Dad: “The grocery store is around the corner.”

  • I recently spent a couple of days at Monkey Valley. Monkey Valley is this absolutely stunning resort, situated below Chapman’s Peak and is a 10 minute walk from Noordhoek beach. The walkway to the beach leads you through one of Cape Town’s oldest Milkwood Forests. During one of my walks through the forest, I spotted a baby hawk. A baby hawk!!! Do you have an idea how AMAZING that is?
  • I recently watched the latest Bond film, Skyfall and absolutely LOVED it. Javier Bardem is BRILLIANT as the creepy criminal.

Photo taken at this year’s Twilight Fun Run. Photo taken by Cougar.

Crazy/beautiful – St Helena Bay 2

Photo taken while driving towards St Helena Bay. St Helena Bay is situated on the West Coast, approximately 2 hours drive from Cape Town.

We managed to find accomodation RIGHT on the beachfront, which meant that we spent endless hours watching the seals sunbathe, clambering over rocks and tanning.

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Did I mention that my sister is officially a doctor?

Soweto, Linkin Park and Travel

 

Photo taken at the Linkin Park concert.

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A few weeks ago, work sent me to Johannesburg to provide training to our users. Since the organisation was paying for my flights, I decided to spend an extra night in Soweto, a township in Johannesburg. I wanted to learn more about my country, my history.

Soweto (South Western Townships) was home to former president and struggle veteran Nelson Mandela, and Archbishop Desmond Tutu. (Mandela and Tutu were both awarded the Nobel Peace Prize.) It also played host to the 1976 student uprising.

While there, I slept at a local hostel (Lebo’s Soweto Backpackers), went on a two hour bicycle tour of the township and visited the Apartheid Museum. At the backpackers I met a girl from New Zealand. We got to talking and I told her that if she was ever in Cape Town to look me up. I would be more than happy to play tour guide.

Why would someone as self-involved and selfish as I, do something like this?

Because I have been there! I know how lonely travelling can get. I know how overwhelming it can be to find yourself in a foreign country, where no one speaks your language. I know what it feels like to crave human contact, understanding. I know how difficult it can be to restrain yourself from crying when you find yourself ALONE, in a restaurant in Bali, after EVERY FUCKING thing that could go wrong DOES go wrong, only to hear Celine Dion wailing over the stereo about how she doesn’t want to be all by herself anymore. Fuck you Celine. Fuck you!

The Kiwi arrived in Cape Town a couple of days ago. We met up for drinks and supper in Long Street. We talked about our various travel adventures abroad, her time spent volunteering at a private game reserve in Johannesburg and her itinerary for the next few days (she leaves Cape Town on Tuesday and will be spending the next 5 months in South America). I offered to take her to Boulders Beach (to pet the penguins) and Cape Point on Sunday.

Mordor, Daniel Bedingfield and McGregor

Morning

I’ve spent the last two weeks attending 7 hour lectures on Geocortex Essentials, AFTER work. The lectures were internet based, and since my institution’s connection speed was pathetic, I found myself at Mordor (aka University of Western Cape) from 17:00 to 23:00. My crazy work hours mean that I haven’t exercised or eaten healthily in ages!

Anyway, here’s a list of things I’m looking forward to:

The weekend

My friends and I (about 14 of us in total) are headed to McGregor this weekend. We met up on Sunday to discuss travelling arrangements.

Cougar: Barry says he might come or he might go to Tanzania.

Cazz: Tanzania?

Cougar: Er … I mean Transkei.

Me: She’s not on my 30 Seconds team.

Dan: Yeah, she would say, “It sounds like …”

Me: Except you’re not allowed to say, “Sounds like …” And you’re not allowed to say, “It starts with the letter T”. She’d end up saying, “It might be a country or it might be a city.”

Dan: It might be near or it might be far. It might be in Africa or it might be in Asia. Who can tell?

Daniel Bedingfield

Webtickets has just released the Old Mutual Summer Sunset concerts held at Kirstenbosch. The opening act for this season is UK singer, Daniel Bedingfield. He’ll be performing on 25 November. So excited. I know ALL the words to his first album. ALL THE WORDS!

 

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Can someone please remind me, to tell you about the time Cazz and Cougar shouted at some random guy that he has a tiny penis?