Verbal Diarrhoea

I stumbled across these painting yesterday and I was immediately reminded of my friend, Cougar. She is an amazing dancer and I envy her talent. I would give anything to look this good on the dance floor. Don’t get me wrong, I have rhythm. I just have a HUGE problem with letting a guy push me around.

Anyway, you can find more of these amazing paintings over here.

Oh and if you’ve always wanted to check out a Matisse show, head on over to my friend, Unbearable’s (not his real name) blog. Unbearable is one of those individuals who are lucky enough to work in New York.

Sit down, sit down on the prow to wave back
There might not be another stop further on the line
Look out, look out at each town that glides by
And there’s another crowd to drown in crying eyes

Lost Coastlines – Okkervil River

Not entirely sure where in Costa Rica this photograph was taken.

Can you imagine surfing in warm water? Can you imagine getting into without a wetsuit?

Blue Frog

The following photographs stolen from Lonely Planet’s website. Thanks to Dizzy* for sending me the link.

It all started off innocently enough. I sent forth yesterday’s Google image search results and expected nothing more than, “Wow, that’s crazy!” What I wasn’t expecting was for Barry to vehemently support Google’s search engine. It got to a point that Mad Phoenix had to ask if he had stocks in the company.

Anyway here’s a snippet of yesterday’s email conversation:

Dizzy*:   On a now unrelated note, if you update your search query to: surfing + female + surfboard, you’ll get better results:

Dizzy*: I’ll go with the highlighted girl on the right. Not only because I haven’t seen many black surfer chicks*, but also, cos she actually looks like she’s been surfing – smiling, happy, relaxed, and oh yes – WET. Which all those other posers seem to forget about!

Barry: She’s carrying a gay minimal, obviously can’t surf. The one right next to her… hubba hubba.

Me: Gay minimal?

Mad Phoenix: Shhh [insert my real name]! Barry is trying to tell us something… No need to have added the last item Barry. This is a safe space…you can talk to us.

Luckily Barry took the jibe quite well.

* Dizzy’s right. I’ve spent every weekend at Surfer’s Corner for the last year, and I’ve yet to see a black surfer.

I was searching for images of female surfers when up popped my picture …

My friend Dizzy*, who until recently has never left South Africa’s shores, was recently posted to Dubai on a reconnaissance mission. Dizzy* who was raised to believe in Jesus Christ, was sent to a predominately Muslim country during the month of Ramadaan. Read: The poor girl is forbidden to eat or drink anything in public from sunrise to sunset, in a country where the average temperature is 40 degree Celsius.

According to her recent gchat status she hasn’t eaten solid food in over a week. And by solid food she means bacon.

Of course, Dizzy* is a trooper and wouldn’t allow something as trivial as dietary restrictions halt her from having fun and she sent us a number of superb pictures.

Picture of pretty lamp taken by Dizzy*.

Anyway, before the girl left she had a going away dinner. At the little soiree one of the topics of conversation was sexual harassment, of course.

L: So the gay guy decided to offer his “services” to the straight guy.

Dizzy*: Who in their right mind sends nude pictures of themselves to the IT guy?

Me: Wait. What? You didn’t mention any nude pictures. You just said he offered his “services”.

Dizzy*: Of course there were nude pictures!

L: Erm, no. There weren’t any nude pictures.

Dizzy*: Hmmm, I wonder why I just assumed there were nude pictures?

Me: Because that’s how you offer your “services” …

The self confessed music aficionado: Yeah, I also assumed there were nude pictures. I mean how else are you to offer your “services”? Do you use a different font? Is Comic Sans flirtier than Arial? Do you use a size 12 font instead of 11?

The Cougar: It’s all in the dot dot dot …

As if there isn’t enough embarassing information of me out there on the interwebs, I bring you photos.

Ignore the fact that I’m wearing takkies to a party and that my fat stomach is showing. The bigger question is what am I doing and why? And if you thought THIS is bad, you should see me at En-dee!’s wedding.

This chick in front, with the grey T-shirt, is one of the coolest chick ever. How can I not love a girl who tries to embody the spirit of Britney Spears on the dancefloor?

Watching soccer.

EDIT: Just got the following gchat message from Dizzy.

Dizzy*: Your blog post today … I laughed so hard and it reminded me of the following pic …

I was walking on Muizenberg beach when this guy attempted to sell me the most adorable puppy ever. Don’t you just want to take it home and heap hordes of hugs/attention on this little thing? 

Soccer fever in Cape Town. I love how proudly South African everyone is at the moment.

*

A recent conversation with my sweet/racist grandmother (my mom’s mom)

Grandmother: You’re a project manageress now?

Me: Yes …

Grandmother: So you’re bringing home R10 000 a month?

Me: Okay …

Grandmother: What are you doing with the money? I hope you’re not buying more clothes. You have enough. I’ve seen your cupboard. You need to save it. One day you’ll get married and you’ll need to buy a house. You don’t have a boyfriend, hey?

Me: No …

Grandmother: Try to bring home a white guy. Don’t bring home a [insert derogatory term for black person and no, the word isn’t nigger]. Or an Indian.

My dear grandmother then pronounces my surname with great disdain.

Grandmother: Your grandfather, your dad’s dad, was Indian.

I told Dizzy* this story and she couldn’t help but laugh.

Dizzy*: If you ever manage to have some “off-white” kids your grandmother will be all, “These are my great grandkids with the straight hair”.

The following photographs taken by Gottography are currently doing the email rounds. These photpgraphs are of Cape Town’s very own version of the “London Eye”. The Big Wheel is situated at the V&A Waterfront and is open to the public on Wednesday, 09 June 2010. Prices for the a ticket are R70. To find out more on the big wheel, click here.

Ever since the Caster Semenya debacle I have been weary of using the oh-so-witty comeback, “Suck my big black cock.” Once said, the oh-so-witty comeback should invariably be accompanied by the disclaimer, “I don’t actually have a cock. No need for gender testing here.”   

Anyway, over the last few days I’ve suffered from the dreaded “writer’s block”. I’ve spent hours staring at black pages, willing pretty phrases to spring from the ink in my pen but all I can manage are disjointed words.

*

Yet another photograph of my trip abroad. Think this was taken in Pisa. (Yes, there’s more to see than just a Leaning Tower.)

I don’t feel like entertaining the masses today so I thought I’d participate in Where in the World Wednesday. What’s that? It’s not Wednesday? Yeah, well I’m uploading pictures of Venice either way, so suck it up Sherlock.

To participate in WITWW all you need to do is upload some pics, upload the WITWW button and post a comment on Classy in Philadelphia stating that you’ve decided to participate.   

I loved the look and feel of the old buildings.

I was completely amazed at the size of the seafood in Venice. Click on photo to enlarge.

Sitting on the banks of the river (?) I watched the sun set. Personally I think Venice has Paris beat when it comes to being the most romantic city.

I actually met the funniest Canadian chicks while sitting on the river banks. We just sat there talking and laughing for hours. The one taught be about Indian history and the war for independence and the other talked about her Irish grandmother. It was one of my all time favourite moments in Italy.   

Play ground – so different to the ones I see in Cape Town everyday.