Written ages ago – Villa Via 2

My current hotel, Protea Hotel Samrand is perfect. My colleague described the room as “Huge. There are two beds in each room – One for me and one for my boyfriend. And no one has to sleep on the wet spot.”

The hotel was a far cry from Villa Via, Midrand.

“You should have seen the hotel that work put me up in. My towel had a hole in it. There were stains on the sheets. I think it was blood. I couldn’t be sure. The water damage … extensive. The bedroom window wouldn’t open. And I’m not that fussy. I mean, I wore YOUR socks even after you’d already worn them for an hour.

And on the morning that we checked out, I filled out the hotel’s evaluation form. Except I didn’t list ALL of my complaints, there simply wasn’t enough space on the form.

After I’d packed all my belongings, I carry my bags down to the car. And the receptionist sees me. And he offers to help. At first I decline, but he’s pretty insistent. Says that he’s here and he has nothing better to do. So I relent. I’m nice like that.

We then head to the checkout desk. But before I hand over my hotel key, I hand in the evaluation form. This is a pretty dumb move on my part. And he then proceeds to READ the form, right then and there. Can you say awkward? And when he is done, he smiles, it looks slightly forced, and he says, “We need this type of feedback.”

And then, and this is the best part, he proceeds to hand me his number. Says that I’m really nice and that I should call or Facebook him whenever I’m lonely.”

It must be noted that Villa Via’s response to my written complaints was very professional. They apologised profusely, promised to fix up the room and returned 25% of the hotel fee.

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My flights have been booked. I’ll be heading to the Golden Gate Highlands National Park soon. I’m so excited.

My mom and the non-racist colleague

Yesterday, the parental unit and I participated in the Langebaan (Weskus) half-marathon. After the race my mom felt nauseous and dizzy, and had to be escorted to the medical tent. Laying on the bed, drip in her arm, she looked at me and said, “You know, I actually improved on my PB by 2 minutes?”

You gotta love my mom.

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The following conversation took place a few days ago.

Me: Have you heard about the off-duty policeman, who beat up a woman? The incident was caught on camera.

Colleague: Was the policeman black?

Me: Erm, I don’t …

Colleague: Was she black?

Me: Erm, I don’t …

Pause.

Colleague: It’s not that I’m racist. It’s just that black men treat women badly.

The travel diaries – Kimberley

  • My sister graduated from Med School in December. Since then my gran no longer refers to my sister by her name. It is “the doctor”. “The doctor is sleeping. The doctor is home.”
  • Every time I go to hot yoga class, I have to remind myself NOT to hate on the skinny chicks. Fucking bitches.

And the latest in the travel diaries

On Sunday afternoon at 16:30, a colleague and I boarded a plane to Kimberley, a town in the Northern Cape famous for a big hole in the landscape. You can only imagine my unconstrained excitement at the prospect.

Upon arrival, we headed straight towards our hotel (Savoy Hotel). No sightseeing for us.

Not wanting to forage for sustenance at such a late hour, we decided to head down to the hotel restaurant for supper.

Waitress: All our meat is halaal.

Me: But you have bacon on your menu?

Replacement kitten, “karaoke bar” and movies

Oh look, it’s been two weeks since I lasted updated complete strangers on the internet with the trivialities of my life.

I wish that I could say that I’ve been caught up in a whirlwind romance. That I have met someone of the Y chromosome persuasion. Someone who is fun and exciting, and nibbles my ear in the mornings. But alas, my life is nowhere near this exciting. I mean, theoretically I do have a guy, who nibbles my ear in the morning. But he is a ginger. He is also my cat …

The replacement cat and I have now established a nice routine. Every morning, at around 05:00, he wakes up and digs his teeth AND claws into my skin. His routine attacks have left their mark, giving people the impression that I dabble in self-mutilation.
Barry: What happened to your arms?
Me: My cat …
Barry: Your cat? You know Sid, we are here for you. If there’s anything that you need to talk about …

Other than becoming better acquainted with the monster, I’ve also sang in “karaoke bar”. Notice the use of the quotation marks? Yeah, that’s because we’re all PRETTY certain that it’s a front for a brothel.
Guy that I just met: We should go over and ask them about their prices!
Me: Prices of what?
Guy laughs. Guy: The price of karaoke. But you are more than willing to ask for the price of other services.

I have attended my friend, Georgia’s bachelorette’s party.
Girl that I just met: Are you a model?
Me: No, but thanks.

I have celebrated my friend, Jax’s birthday.
I have gone up the cable car on a rainy Saturday morning.
I have watched “Silver linings playbook” and absolutely loved it.
I have read “The perks of being a wallflower” and been underwhelmed.

And that’s pretty much the extent of it.

Organic Heart, South America, Spanish

A few days (weeks?) ago, I had lunch with a couple friends at Organic Heart. Organic Heart is this cute little restaurant in Plumstead and it serves some scrumptious vegan, vegetarian and organic meat dishes.

And even though stuffing your face with awesomeness is an artform that requires your unadulterated attention, we DID actually manage to have a conversation.

Cazz: I’d like to travel to South America soon. Maybe June or July … But I don’t speak any Spanish.

Calypso: Oh, I bought a Spanish language DVD a while ago. I can teach you a phrase. Los medicamentos no son míos.

Me: What does that mean?

Calypso: The drugs aren’t mine.

Skyfall, Monkey Valley, Sharks

Hey hey

It’s been a while since we talked. About me. So in the spirit of generosity and sharing, I’ve compiled a short list of all things ME.

  • I’ve volunteered to spend my birthday tagging sharks. Not the Patrick Lambie variety, mind you, but Bronze Whaler sharks (Carcharhinus brachyurus).
  • I recently moved into my new apartment. Removing the last of my belongings from my parents’ home, I asked, “Do you have an extra tube of toothpaste?”

Dad: “The grocery store is around the corner.”

  • I recently spent a couple of days at Monkey Valley. Monkey Valley is this absolutely stunning resort, situated below Chapman’s Peak and is a 10 minute walk from Noordhoek beach. The walkway to the beach leads you through one of Cape Town’s oldest Milkwood Forests. During one of my walks through the forest, I spotted a baby hawk. A baby hawk!!! Do you have an idea how AMAZING that is?
  • I recently watched the latest Bond film, Skyfall and absolutely LOVED it. Javier Bardem is BRILLIANT as the creepy criminal.

Photo taken at this year’s Twilight Fun Run. Photo taken by Cougar.

Crazy/beautiful – St Helena Bay 2

Photo taken while driving towards St Helena Bay. St Helena Bay is situated on the West Coast, approximately 2 hours drive from Cape Town.

We managed to find accomodation RIGHT on the beachfront, which meant that we spent endless hours watching the seals sunbathe, clambering over rocks and tanning.

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Did I mention that my sister is officially a doctor?

The Fear

A few weeks ago, I ran my first ever marathon. I’d originally wanted to write a blog post about it, as part of my monthly bucket list updates. The tone would have been flippant and self-deprecating. It would have gone something like this, “I ran my first ever marathon. That’s 42km of running. Unfortunately, I completed it in 5 hours and 20 minutes, which means that I have not qualified for the Comrades Ultra-marathon. I’m such a loser.”  But my fingers wouldn’t type the words.

It took me a while to realize that I wouldn’t, that I couldn’t do THAT to myself. By typing those words I would have diminished my achievement, my accomplishment, MY POWER. And I’d worked too damn hard to do that to myself.

Running a marathon is not only physically demanding, by mentally grueling. There is a lot of self-doubt, apprehension and fear. Oh God the FEAR – constant and unrelenting. The nights spent massaging feet and calves, convinced that today you’ve finally damaged something irreparably. The uncontrollable desire to hyperventilate EVERYTIME you think about RUNNING 42 kilometers. The desire to simply QUIT, throw in the towel, because you just don’t WANT to do this. It’s a lie, of course. You’re just AFRAID.

And then there’s the pep talks. Numerous pep talks. From friends. From family members. The assertion that you CAN do this, that you simply have to take it one step at a time. The realization that you have to at least TRY. That you would hate yourself if you didn’t at least TRY.

So won’t type those words. I won’t diminish my power. Instead I’ll bask in knowledge that I RAN an entire marathon.

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I’m headed to St Helena Bay for the weekend. Life is good =)

Mordor, Daniel Bedingfield and McGregor

Morning

I’ve spent the last two weeks attending 7 hour lectures on Geocortex Essentials, AFTER work. The lectures were internet based, and since my institution’s connection speed was pathetic, I found myself at Mordor (aka University of Western Cape) from 17:00 to 23:00. My crazy work hours mean that I haven’t exercised or eaten healthily in ages!

Anyway, here’s a list of things I’m looking forward to:

The weekend

My friends and I (about 14 of us in total) are headed to McGregor this weekend. We met up on Sunday to discuss travelling arrangements.

Cougar: Barry says he might come or he might go to Tanzania.

Cazz: Tanzania?

Cougar: Er … I mean Transkei.

Me: She’s not on my 30 Seconds team.

Dan: Yeah, she would say, “It sounds like …”

Me: Except you’re not allowed to say, “Sounds like …” And you’re not allowed to say, “It starts with the letter T”. She’d end up saying, “It might be a country or it might be a city.”

Dan: It might be near or it might be far. It might be in Africa or it might be in Asia. Who can tell?

Daniel Bedingfield

Webtickets has just released the Old Mutual Summer Sunset concerts held at Kirstenbosch. The opening act for this season is UK singer, Daniel Bedingfield. He’ll be performing on 25 November. So excited. I know ALL the words to his first album. ALL THE WORDS!

 

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Can someone please remind me, to tell you about the time Cazz and Cougar shouted at some random guy that he has a tiny penis?