Verbal Diarrhoea

Sit down, sit down on the prow to wave back
There might not be another stop further on the line
Look out, look out at each town that glides by
And there’s another crowd to drown in crying eyes

Lost Coastlines – Okkervil River

Not entirely sure where in Costa Rica this photograph was taken.

Can you imagine surfing in warm water? Can you imagine getting into without a wetsuit?

Blue Frog

The following photographs stolen from Lonely Planet’s website. Thanks to Dizzy* for sending me the link.

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On Saturday, 25th of September 2010, Fahiema, Cougar and I will be going shark cage diving. Woohoo! There will be pictures, there will be stories and there will be lots of freaking out.

Thanks to Cougar for making this happen.

Oh baby baby baby babe,
How long am I supposed to wait?
I think about you nightly
Oh, can you tell I’m losin’ sleep?
Can you tell – Ra Ra Riot

I found the following flow diagram attached to an article on why women shouldn’t settle, and I absolutely had to share it with you guys.

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And in other news that made me giggle … A pet tiger escapes in South African suburb. Who the hell keeps a tiger as a pet???

I was walking on Muizenberg beach when this guy attempted to sell me the most adorable puppy ever. Don’t you just want to take it home and heap hordes of hugs/attention on this little thing? 

Soccer fever in Cape Town. I love how proudly South African everyone is at the moment.

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A recent conversation with my sweet/racist grandmother (my mom’s mom)

Grandmother: You’re a project manageress now?

Me: Yes …

Grandmother: So you’re bringing home R10 000 a month?

Me: Okay …

Grandmother: What are you doing with the money? I hope you’re not buying more clothes. You have enough. I’ve seen your cupboard. You need to save it. One day you’ll get married and you’ll need to buy a house. You don’t have a boyfriend, hey?

Me: No …

Grandmother: Try to bring home a white guy. Don’t bring home a [insert derogatory term for black person and no, the word isn’t nigger]. Or an Indian.

My dear grandmother then pronounces my surname with great disdain.

Grandmother: Your grandfather, your dad’s dad, was Indian.

I told Dizzy* this story and she couldn’t help but laugh.

Dizzy*: If you ever manage to have some “off-white” kids your grandmother will be all, “These are my great grandkids with the straight hair”.

Baboon. Picture taken on our way to Hermanus. Estuary. Picture taken as sun was setting. Picture taken on the beach at Hermanus. Hermanus is a 2 hour drive away from Cape Town.

I like to think of myself as a fairly tough cookie. I’ve climbed Kilimanjaro, skydived, participated in a paintballing session and endured an entire year of varsity Chemistry. Let’s just for this second, forget that I always end up in tears the minute Meg Ryan’s character dies in City of Angels. Having said all this, you’ll be surprised to learn that on Monday, 22 March 2010, I ended up crying in the shower. And it wasn’t tears of joy. Nooo, sirree. There were a whimpers. There were also gales of laughter from my “friends” as the mocked my apparent fear. Assholes. SWL of course.

Anyway, right now we won’t go into details of Monday’s traumatic event. Right now I’d like us all to focus on my possible trip to Virginia, U.S.A.

So … about a week ago I applied for funding for a week long course in Advanced GIS and Remote Sensing. The course will be held at the Smithsonian Institute, which is in Virginia. As of yet, I’m still waiting on a response from the powers that be but I’m hopeful.

I’ve also made a few resolutions regarding the trip.

1)       If I do get the funding then I intend to spend a few extra days in US. Right now I’m not quite sure how long I ought to stay and which parts of the States I should explore. Right now I’m not quite sure if I should simply explore Virginia for 2 weeks or travel to New York. Or Calgary, Canada? Right now I’m simply enjoying the possibilities.

2)       I’ve also decided that if I do get the funding then I won’t be doing any other travelling abroad this year. My bank account will need to recuperate. Thailand, Laos and Cambodia will simply have to wait for next year.

3)       I’ve also decided that if I do end up in Virginia this year then it will probably be a long time before I revisit North America. “The Plan”, which was originally drafted in my teens, is to visit all the continents (except Australia).

Anyway … if you live in Virginia or have vacationed there, please feel free to make recommendations on things to do and places to see.

Thanks.

 My cat, Paris. I looked at her this morning and said, “Be safe my baby. Try not to get eaten by any homeless people.”  I boarded a plane to Johannesburg on Tuesday.

Giraffe. Picture taken at the game reserve I was staying at.

Fahiema on a horse. She obtained several bruises on her thighs from horse riding. I came out of the entire adventure unscathed.

(This was wrtten months ago.)

Dear friends and creepy lurkers

Yesterday a small, vibrant part of me died. The part of me that believes in Santa Claus, unicorns and fairytale endings was snuffed out like Othello’s Desdemona. And I cried my dear friends. I wept for that little girl. I sobbed because without that little girl all we have left is a sarcastic woman with great hair.

But enough with the dramatics and on with the finer details of what has disturbed me.

So … yesterday I’m training this 20 something. It’s fairly standard stuff – how to make a map in ArcGIS. Now as everyone with high school geography should know, all good maps should have a legend, scale bar and title. Without these elements all you have a pretty picture.

So I go through the motions and eventually I show her how to add the title – “Location of alien plants.”

“Isn’t alien spelt with two Ls?”

“No.” I mouth this word slowly and clearly, indicating that this is one area where I will not allow for discussion. But she persists.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” You’d think that monosyllabic replies would negate any debate. You’d be wrong.   

“Maybe you should use a dictionary?”

Exasperated, I give in and find an online dictionary. Merriam Webster proves that I’m right. Surprised?

“Hmmm. Why did I think it had two Ls?”

Now over the years I’ve learnt to bottle up my inner bitch. If I weren’t for being so well trained there is a good chance that I might have said, “Yes, it is strange that someone who works for the early detection of aliens programme is incapable of spelling the word “alien”.” Instead I smile politely and continue with the task ahead.

Later as a parting gift she would state, “I have an electronic dictionary on my PC. Are you sure you don’t want me to send it to you?”

Some people are so considerate.

Picture of a fish. Not entirely sure of the name of the fish.

Picture of Emperor penguins taken at the Aquarium.

Picture of a huge beaded elephant. Photo taken at the Waterfront.

I was on my way home from work; Dave Matthews “Stay (Wasting Time)” was playing. Dave Matthews was always playing in my car.

We were just wasting time

Let the hours roll by

Doing nothing for the fun

A little taste of the good life

For some reason this song always reminds me of my younger “reckless” days when I’d sneak out of the house and spend the entire night sitting on the steps of Rhodes Memorial with boys I’d just met. It’s strange because I certainly wasn’t aware of Dave Matthews back then. Dave Matthews is a recent obsession.

And as my car glided down the leafy avenue I noticed the body. There beneath the pine trees it lay – rigid and devoid of life. My left hand released the steering wheel and immediately clasped my mouth – a vain attempt to stifle the scream that threatened to escape my lips. I’d seen dead bodies before but this didn’t make the sight less horrific, less gruesome.

And as I continued on my merry way I couldn’t help but wonder about the prone cadaver. What type of life had this squirrel once lived? Did it have a mom who stored acorns for him during the long winter months? Did it have a dad who talked to him about the birds and the bees? Was he being mourned by a younger brother and sister? But most importantly how did he come to such a tragic end? I imagine that as a squirrel he was probably doing something heroic. Perhaps he had pushed a pretty girl squirrel out of the way of oncoming traffic? Or maybe he was a daredevil? Perhaps he was swinging recklessly from branch to branch before plummeting to his death? Yes, that sounds like the type of thing THIS squirrel would do. He was obviously urged on by his peers to do this dangerous stunt and not wanting to appear like a pussy he’d taken on the challenge. At first everything was going along perfectly but then … his claw slipped. He’d swung his paws around wildly hoping to clutch onto a branch, a leaf, anything. Nothing.

His life flashed before his eyes. He remembered all the good times – trees climbed, nuts savoured, tails chased … And this was how it all came to an end.