Verbal Diarrhoea

This is an old video (2007). Miss Teen South Carolina was asked why a fifth of Americans can’t locate the US on a world map.

Her reply (for those you can’t watch youtube at work): I personally believe the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh…people out there in our nation don’t have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and…I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., err, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our…

Am I the only South African out there who is offended by her answer?

If you’re anything like me (and 10 000 Capetonians), you probably watched the fall of the iconic Athlone cooling towers. If you’re anything like me, you probably spent a large amount of time sitting in the traffic, becoming all too familiar with the smell of your clutch burning. If you’re anything like me, you also probably missed the first few seconds of the implosion because your friend, *cough* Juan *cough*, decided that THAT was a good time to inquire about your life. And if you’re anything like me at all, you probably quelled the inevitable boredom that resulted from spending an hour in the traffic, playing your new favourite game, “Is he wearing any underwear?” What? Oh you’re too mature to play a silly game like THAT. You’d rather spend your time talking about the psychoanalytical effects of the implosion. Touche.

Anyway, no innocent men were felt up during the playing of the game, although Juan’s mind might have been warped.

After watching the implosion (and singing along to a Mariah Carey song), I finally managed to get my hands on season 2 of The Wire. Man, you have no idea what lengths I had to go to, to get them. I swear, I must have visited 10 DVD rental stores and promised to hand over my first born to whatsisface … Rampelstiltskin.

How was your weekend?

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On Saturday, 25th of September 2010, Fahiema, Cougar and I will be going shark cage diving. Woohoo! There will be pictures, there will be stories and there will be lots of freaking out.

Thanks to Cougar for making this happen.

This just in from my sister.

Tickets! Don’t lose out!

Category 1 tickets available for the first night of Taraweeh.

Price: Face value … Front row directly behind the Imaam!!! Unbelievable Atmosphere … Feel it … It is Near!

No vuvzelas; bring your tasbeehs.

(You’ll only get the joke if you were raised Muslim.)

I only want sympathy
in the form of you
crawling into bed with me
Dance, dance – Fall out Boy (Lindberg Palace Remix)

A few days ago I was telling Juan how much I enjoy listening to the song above. Everytime I hear it I can’t help but start dancing and it’s not sexy dancing. “When I hear this song I don’t dance like I’m trying to entice a guy. This is happy dancing – dancing that will earn me more than a few weird stares and giggles.”

Juan: So what? Do you normally dance to entice a guy?

Me: Nooooo … But the men sure are enticed!

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At the moment I’m totally enjoying Gold Motel’s Stealing the Moonlight. The song makes me yearn for summer and short little dresses. (It’s raining right now. I can’t say I’m surprised. It is winter IN Cape Town. In Cape Town, in Winter, rain is all you can expect for days on. It’s so depressing.)  

Everyone thought this little girl was evil and they have good reasons to think so. I however thought she was enchanting. Of course, I did. (More about this little girl some other time.)

Huge thanks to the Cougar for taking these pics.

Not only did we spend this weekend hiking and NOT watching soccer* but we also ended up playing several rounds of 30 seconds. Here is an example of one of the funnier clues and replies given.

Cazz: God’s son?

Me: Zeus? Hercules?

According to Dizzy*, who it should be noted is NOT the most reliable source, I listed every Greek/Roman God known to mankind before stating, “Ooooh, you probably mean Jesus, right?”

In my defense Cazz should have been slightly more specific. Of course my inability to immediately get the answer might have more to do with the fact that I was high at the time and less to do with Cazz’s vague clue.

Anyway … as I was climbing in the shower this morning I noticed a couple of bruises. Does anyone know how I obtained them? LOL, I kid! I totally know how I got these …

*I was chatting to the BFF, En-dee! yesterday about the soccer. I was telling her that I was disappointed in Brazil and surprised that Argentina lost 4-0. I’d heard that they had a number of players in the team that were ranked in the top 50 and that I guess they just didn’t play well in a team. 

En-dee!’s reply, “It’s clear that having the best football stars on your team means jack if they can’t play as a team. If you look at Real Madrid, they steal all the star players from smaller teams but they haven’t won a championship in ages. Too many huge egos I think, also your opponent knows exactly who the threats are and they’re gonna sit on those guys like flies on shit.”

**A little person, who shall NOT be named, did actually scream out, “The lights are chasing me.”

Barry and I were chilling at the Octopus Garden at St James when this little dog simply decided to join us at the table.

The dog and I looking completely exhausted. I of course had a good excuse for my appearance – I’d just been surfing. I’m not sure what the dog’s excuse was.

A famous DJ. Can’t quite remember his name …

Oh, right Paul Oakenfold.

(More random photos to follow in the near future.)

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Dear Juan

I’d just like to thank you for brainwashing Dizzy* into the delusional belief that Rugby is a far more superior sport to soccer. True I’ve yet to watch a Rugby match but honestly you had to see the way the girl was going on!

During the ENTIRE Argentina versus Mexico game she kept going on and on and on and on and on about how THIS would never happen in Rugby and how much more exciting Rugby is and gorgeous my shoes are. Okay maybe she didn’t quite say the last one as much as she thought it. Yes, I can read thoughts now, just like Dr Xavier from the X-men.

As if that wasn’t enough, after Argentina’s third goal Dizzy* suddenly switched allegiances.

Me: What the fuck? I thought you were supporting the underdogs – Mexico.

Dizzy*: Yeah well if Mexico¹ refuses to do anything with the ball then they deserve to be humiliated.

Now that’s logic I can’t disagree with.

Love [insert my real name]

¹ Even though I’m happy Argentina won I wish the linesman hadn’t fucked up.

Cavendish Square (a mall in Claremont) is having a 2010 International Fine Art exhibition. I happened to stumble across this exhibition while shopping for a winter jacket and was quite impressed by the works presented. I always feel so incredibly guilty when I take photographs of art works. It feels like I’m stealing. Anyway, I hope Unbearable enjoys looking at these pieces.

To find out more about the  2010 Fine Art Collection click here.

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By now most of you have probably heard that Grammy winner Estelle, will be performing live at the Cape Town Convention Centre on Friday. Tickets were originally priced at R300 but thanks to sponsorship from Durex, you can now get two for the price of one.

Tickets are available at Computicket.

The following photographs taken by Gottography are currently doing the email rounds. These photpgraphs are of Cape Town’s very own version of the “London Eye”. The Big Wheel is situated at the V&A Waterfront and is open to the public on Wednesday, 09 June 2010. Prices for the a ticket are R70. To find out more on the big wheel, click here.

Ever since the Caster Semenya debacle I have been weary of using the oh-so-witty comeback, “Suck my big black cock.” Once said, the oh-so-witty comeback should invariably be accompanied by the disclaimer, “I don’t actually have a cock. No need for gender testing here.”   

Anyway, over the last few days I’ve suffered from the dreaded “writer’s block”. I’ve spent hours staring at black pages, willing pretty phrases to spring from the ink in my pen but all I can manage are disjointed words.

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Yet another photograph of my trip abroad. Think this was taken in Pisa. (Yes, there’s more to see than just a Leaning Tower.)